Sunrise, Sunset

I gotta say I am so damn sick of staph infections right now. Three in one week is no fucking fun. It hurts like a mother fucker. The real bitch about it is I'm not sure where the shit's coming from now. I've washed all my clothes, I've soaked my razor in an alcohol solution for a week, I've changed the razor head, I microwaved my bath sponge, I've been spraying the bathroom down with an alcohol solution for the past... however long since I moved into this new place... What am I doing to be constantly getting this shit?

I'm thinking a doctor's visit Friday might be a good idea at this point.

Looking forward to graduating soon. I've been thinking about this for about two years now, but the big question after that is what do I want to do? Try and find a job and potentially mess up my yoga instructor training or wait it out at parking services and finish the training? That hit me again just now, when I realized I might have only two weeks left amid finishing up the final project and my other class to decide.

Fucking sucks. I want the instructor training. I want something else under my belt before I try to find something to do with my major. But I don't want to worry about forgetting everything I've learned over the past 4+ years. I know when it comes to my mind, I tend to forget things easily.

Blargh indeed.

4-something-hour nap was long. But yah. Had fun at the pow-wow today.

And the rest of you better eat lots of dead bird. It's tasty.

Project. It is finally done. I only need to write up a user's manual and that'll be the end of it. Now maybe I can have my life back. Somewhat.

My damn Acer's harddrive is trying to crash on me. I'm not pleased. I've only had this stupid thing since about the end of February.

Today has been a long one, despite the fact that I didn't go to work at all.

Was supposed to wait for the landlord to get here to fix the toilets. Ended up going to lunch with the mom and the brother. Went to do a little christmas shopping after that. Got a call from a friend on the way back to tell me there's a dinner party tonight for his going away and I'm invited. Went to that. Ended up going to the bookstore after that and spending a few hours screwing around, talking. And between all of that, I managed to nearly complete my website.

I wanted to come home and play Champions finally, for the first time in a long time, but I'm too tired to muster up the want to play. @@;

Cutting some ties just now, and I don't feel good about it. I'd be lying to myself if I said I wouldn't ever try to build that bridge back again, but it's the same stuff over and over and I don't think I'm gonna get through to certain people. Especially when I've explained the situation time and time again, and all I'm seeing for it is indifference.

But that's just how it works, I guess. I'm not the "favorite." While I never expected to be, I still had hoped ends could meet.

In all honesty, I'm not sure what I mean by cutting ties. I'll figure that part out later. Much as it sucks, I think I've decided an ultimatum for myself. When I'm getting headaches daily over the little things now, school included, I think I've got enough stress in my hair as it is.

I had been half-assed hoping that either Paranormal Activity or The Fourth Kind would have any little bit of truth to them, but once again, Hollywood fails. And apparently Riverside Drive doesn't exist in either Escambia or Santa Rosa county. Because my brother and I called the sheriff's office in both to try and put in a complaint about cars parking on both sides of the road in my neighborhood closely enough that he damn near hit two or three trying to get in, and neither of the operators could find me here. Wonder if that means I can make my house a new country entirely.

In the past two months, I've cried hard enough to cause my nose to bleed. In all my life, that has never happened to me before this year, before two months ago, barring only one exception, and that was for my grandpa's funeral earlier this year. Thank you, S:E.

Freaky movie was freaky. Oddly enough, I was skeptical about Paranormal Activity when I went into the theater and woke up this morning with some weird nightmare over my head about something that wasn't quite right, but it wasn't one of those scare you nightmares. It was one that left me with an uncomfortable feeling. Course it didn't help that my brother convinced me to get on one of the only rides in the fair I can't stand, not because it gives me headaches or because I can't breathe on it for being flung so hard against a wall for so long, but because it genuinely has me skurr'd. That was the last ride we were on before we left.

The fair pretty much sucked this year though. I think I'm more bored of it than I first thought before I went.

Random ad I ran across doing a forum search.

On one hand, if my wife was that... er... attractive and as untrustworthy as that hoe looks, I might want to keep track of her too. On the other hand, if I was married and airheaded enough to accept a cell phone from my husband for the purpose of letting him keep tabs on me through GPS 24/7, maybe I'm not old enough to be married yet.

An Osprey just flew over campus. @@;;; I'm bringing my camera tomorrow. That's the second military appearance this week.

I moved most of my things. I played with my brother's new truck. I got to go to the NAS museum and now I hurts. But it's not too bad.

OH! And the grad student has yet to email me back. I've been working on my project without her and getting stuff done. So fuck it.

So I post lyrics to Sexy Back in my facebook. My aunt, who just recently, as in the past few years, became a religious freak and who obviously has never heard the song, responded to that with her love:

"Please do not seen me nasty stuff or that RAP- CRAP your Aunt Love Ya"

... Which I just deleted.

This is the second time I've received flak from family members for things I've posted there. The first time, it was over the word "ass." Ass appeared on my facebook, typed by my own fingers, and my grandma went straight to my mom with it. If my own family can't handle me, then they don't need to know me. God, I feel like a fucking teenager back in high school again.

So I'm walking out of this gym earlier today, leaving pilates, and I see this little thing that looks like a big leaf on the ground. I get a little closer and realize it's not a leaf at all, it's a little hummingbird. With a messed up beak. The windows in the gym and in the library especially work like a mirror and I've seen birds killed trying to fly through them. And this campus is supposed to be a wildlife sanctuary.

So anyway, I took him off to the real wildlife sanctuary downtown and let them care for him. Those things are so tiny. @@

Well, shit.

If I could pay to have anyone in the world legally assassinated, it'd be this bitch and Shia. And Bay. The second movie was utterly ruined because of them.

I am disgustingly happy about my candy corn. And pumpkins.

So I'm test driving cars. And I come across a Solstice. Then a Camaro. And traffic went in the wrong direction, and when I went to brake, I ended up slamming on the gas and swerved into oncoming traffic. I ended up thrown from the car and watched as it hit a light pole, launched about 500 feet up and collided with three people with parachutes. I went home, freaked, and tried to talk to mom about it. Then a guy came from the FBI and started asking me about the accident. I asked him if I was going to jail and he said yeah. Then he had to take a phone call and I talked to mom again. She seemed to just want to ignore the whole thing like it'd be okay until I told her I was going to jail. She started crying.

The freaky part about all of this isn't the dream itself so much as it was I kept waking up this morning wondering if or not I'd really killed the guy and if I was really going to jail for manslaughter.

I ain't e'en know.